Help me, guys.

03:12 AM

As you all know, I'm a polyamorous bisexual and I feel confident that this is a safe spot for relationship advice

The girl I like has enormous hands. like I mean she could be in the X Men and her power would be massive hands and her codename would be catch. I mean, this girl has hands like Jimi Hendrix's feet. I'm not squeamish about hands or anything, I'm just saying that these hands are the size of God's face. You could slap a bear unconscious with these hands. Her hands are the size and density of a dead child wearing an ugly t-shirt. Her hands are bigger than a Beatles reunion with Jesus on lead guitar. She has to get gloves specially made. Is it ok to date women with colossal clown hands?

Also if I take her to see Hellboy 2 will she take offense?

A. Its just as much OK to dump someone for their big hands, as it is to ignore them. Apply to everything else.

B. She wont.

C. WTF?

Firstly, Im going to need you to provide us with a photo of the hands in question, along with your own hands for comparison. Once I see what we're working with, I can offer further advice.

Bottom line, if the hands bother you that much, Id break it off gently. But if you really like her, Id advice trying to look past it.

Bonus points for the Seinfeld reference, whether intentional or not. Shes got man hands!

Also, this would probably fit nicely into the Love thread.

Mostly I'm afraid that if I bring it up she'll crush my skull with her gigantic fucking anthropomorphic shark hands.

Haha, Im sorry for your situation...I sympathize, but this is hands down the most humorous thread of '08.

I don't know whether to laugh or merge it with Quick Question.

Quote:

As you all know, I'm a polyamorous bisexual

Isn't that just a euphemism for being really horny?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Temp

Isn't that just a euphemism for being really horny?

No, it's an euphemism for being a huge slut. Get it straight.

I would assume large hands are a good thing when it comes to thorough groping and other random hand-related activities, so it shouldn't be too awkward or scary..

Everyone should see Hellboy 2, there should be buses going to the movie from the nursing homes and nurserys.

Also, pix or it didn't happen.

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